Guilt

Why is it that women tend to feel guilty and the one to blame when they are sexually assaulted, raped, and/or abused? I wonder about what it is about our social and cultural fabric that creates a sense of guilt and shame for women when they are mistreated and violated.

The law and prosecutors also don't help at times because there are a lot of convolution around terms and technicality.

As kids we grow up hearing that men can't help themselves and as women, we have to be very cautious about our bodies. If we wear a certain outfit, we could be putting a man at risk for straying his eyes and hurting it us. We have to make sure that we don't walk late at night because we could be asking for trouble. If she flirts, or her skirt is too short, she is obviously asking for it. In the end, the message is: it was her fault he abused her. Why don't we as a society ask ourselves and each other "why did he do that to her?" "What makes it ok for a man to abuse a woman?" There is something very distorted about our society and culture that allows people to abuse each other (because men are also abused). What causes this abuse? And what allows it to continue?

If you are being abused or were abused in one way, shape, or form, it is not your fault and you did not ask for it or provoke it.

For more information, click here.

Believing in yourself

"If just one person believes in you deep enough and strong enough 
Believes in you hard enough and long enough 
Before you knew it, someone else would think 'if he can do it I can do it' 
Making it two. 
Two whole people who believe in you. 
And maybe even you can believe in you too."

Jim Henson

Job hunt

It is the end of the academic year. Unfortunately, this year for me has been less than ideal. So, once again I am on the hunt for another position at another school. This time I am going hard and not settling for the first thing that comes along because that was what got me in trouble the first two times. As I go on the hunt, there are these tips that run through my mind that makes me look a little closer at the job hunt process. Something that keeps popping up is the line, "Sell yourself." One needs to put oneself out there, be aggressive, show off the best qualities one has....seems like a lot but sounds a lot like prostitution to me. Corporate prostitution. I'm not trying to crack on my brothers and sisters trying to make ends meet, but I'm seriously looking at the styles of getting jobs and they seem very similar.

The end

I was supposed to put this up on the 11th but never did.

It is now 8.28H. I am feeling so tired! It seems that I have been running on "empty" for quite some time now. For the people in my life, this is the final stretch for various things. It is the end of the semester in college, some of us are even graduating. We are approaching the end of another school year, and finishing up with exams and the like. For others, like my father, we are approaching the end of a long journey of illness and treatment.

Papi finishes his last radiation treatment today. (Not sure if the doctors are going to opt for one more chemotherapy but that would be the last one as well.) It has been a long five months dealing with cancer and treatment. And for those of you who may know Papi personally, he is not an easy person to deal with, which made the journey seem that much longer at times. But we are finally coming to the end of the road for a lot of different things. I'm so happy because this moment seemed so far away. Even though I know that there is more to this journey (such as recovering and healing) it still does not take away from the big sigh of relief I have just experienced knowing that we have survived.

Whose voice matters?

Who gets heard? That is what I keep thinking about whenever in conversation about teacher inquiry and research. For the longest time, it has been the voice of the university that has dictated the day-to-day practices of "ordinary" people. The universities have been the epicenter of society, further perpetuating the notion that the elite class and male voice is paramount to all others. This does not exclude the educational system. The classroom and schools are just a mirror of the larger society. What kind of schools are we making?

Dreams

When I was younger, I was filled with wonder. I used to dream about live and love and wonder. Everything was so magical and possible. But as I grew older, I began to come into reality. I learned about society and realized that there are responsibilities that we must take on as adults. Soon, these dreams were mere child's play, insignificant. I then forgot about these dreams and how to dream. But now that I am more of an adult and immersed in this "reality" I am starting to wonder if this is all there is? I don't think so. I am starting to believe that these childhood dreams have something more to do with an actual reality that is beyond this one that we live in now.

Lets dream again....

Papi with cancer

Strong man, I've watched you from afar
I could see your brute vitality
what kept you going
I never could say
From a distance
I watched you suffer
alone with your pain
never allowing anyone in
I longed to be a part of your life and that you
would entire mine
in hopes hat we could both
heal our wounds

Strong man, from afar I watched you
slowly wither away
feelings beaten and unloved (under appreciated)
Never really seeing how much I love you
how much I needed you
and wanted you in my life
But rather what I got was the residue of
other people's trampling

Strong man
I saw how Anger became your companion
    my fear and pain
It became the driving force of all around you
and what drove those around you away
I saw how it permeated every quarter
seeping into every unknown crevice
multiplying its infestation
Until it seeped into you
and now rages throughout your body