So I was reflecting back on my time at Skidmore College and all the different activities I was in. I watched some videos and saw pictures of my dance team, fashion shows, events, and flute ensemble recitals. These were the times when I had the most fun and difficult times with myself. But I always loved the stage and performing and was when I felt so good about myself and life and the world. I felt beyond myself.
I was also reflecting back on my relationships with others. The people I met and interacted with. I guess just life in general. There are a lot of things that I regret, mostly about my failure attitude. I still feel like a failure.
I'm a Christian, and throughout my time as a Christian I have hear about promises of what God has us. I don't think I believe in that anymore. I don't see anything in my life changing. Rather, I see more and more difficulty; I see less and less reason for me being here. I feel more and more alone; more and more depressed; I am less and less with direction. I feel more and more forgotten by God. So these promises I've heard of are just someone else's memory lane.
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