So, here I am. A young adult, an adult nonetheless, and I have no direction at all. I have no idea what I am going to be doing as a career. I thought I was going to be in education for a few years, but I'm not so sure now. I have no talent, no skills, no purpose. I'm just a bit lost, and feeling pessimistic. BUT I feel horrible that I feel this way because while I am whining about not knowing "what to do with my life" there are others who are struggling just to make it through the day due to illness, poverty, and immigration policies. What are we doing?
I have started going back to therapy due to the constant depressive episodes I face. And I'm not talking about "Oh, I feel sad today." I am talking about "I am feeling suicidal today." Yes, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and am taking meds. I am currently going to group therapy. I have gone to group therapy three times before while growing up, so this was I think, a good move to go back to group therapy. Though therapy is good, I wonder "what's the point?" If I don't go to therapy and get depressed and kill myself, who cares? Only my family will care but the world will go on. And the world is also a very small place in the vastness of the universe. So what does it matter.?
There are also soooo many issues in the world like children dying of malnutrition, children slaves and soldiers, there are people dying of disease, so many injustices....what;s the point of going to therapy? What difference would it make that I make or not with everything that is happening in the world?
because you are not the one to decide when you can leave...and you cannot be that selfish and do that to your family...because if we are the ones who care about you, wouldn't you think it will be a big deal to us? and if you see so many problems in the world, wouldn't you want to potentially and eventually help?
ReplyDeletelove you